How To Get Your Kids to Smile for Pictures

I’ve noticed parents can get pretty stressed about family photos, and most of the stress seems to revolve around whether the kids are going to behave and smile for the camera. So, I thought I’d write a bit about what you can do before, during, and after your session to make sure your kids do their part and make fantastic pictures.

The real answer is super simple: don’t worry about it–let me handle that.

But that would make a really boring blog post, so here are some things you can do as a parent to make my job easier.

1. Keep the mood relaxed and positive.

You can skip the coercion and threats–that is so 1980’s! Tell your kids you’re looking forward to having a fun session and can’t wait to see what the pictures will look like. You may be a little concerned that they won’t cooperate, but it’s usually best to put your trust in your photographer and assume everything will be awesome. The kids will likely follow your lead.

Start your session with everyone as well-adjusted as possible. Nobody looks good hangry–grownup or otherwise. ‘Nuff said? Since sessions are usually in the late afternoon, it can be tempting to save up appetites for a nice dinner afterwards. For the sake of harmony, it might be better to have an early dinner/late lunch and then go out for dessert when the session’s done.

2. Follow your photographer’s lead attentively.

Adults are harder to photograph than kids. Read that again.

This counts double in family sessions. To get the most out of your session, put your attention on the photographer rather than on supervising your kids. Experienced photographers have a million strategies for making real smiles shine through. We rely on our communication with the whole family to make your images look amazing.

Even if you’re not in the shot, follow the photographer’s lead. Avoid giving instructions to your kids unless requested by the photographer. Photographers’ visions are usually a mystery until you see the images. Let the photographer set the boundaries when needed.

4. Let them be kids.

Your family portraits should be a beautiful memory of who each of you are right now at this moment in your lives. Your 3-year old is probably a goofball, and that’s ok. No, that’s better than ok–it’s fantastic. Maybe your husband is a little grumpy, for that matter. That’s ok, too. There’s nothing cuter than the moment when a goofy 3 year old forces a grudging smile out of a grumpy dad! Just let everyone be who they really are, because that’s the beauty of your family.

Nothing shuts the magic down faster than a power struggle. Even if kids are acting out a bit, it may be better to address that after the session’s over. Don’t worry about what the photographer thinks. We–for my part, anyway–aren’t looking for perfect behavior; we’re looking for personality.

What could be construed as disruptive antics=priceless moments.

3. Give it time.

Kids are always either a little wild or a little cranky when they first get out of the car. Rather than trying to force them to change their mood instantly, it works a lot better to give them some space to unwind. Let them play for a few minutes (the photographer will love getting some candid shots of them doing their own thing), and once they’ve burned off some restless energy, the posed shots will be a lot more successful.

This is why I don’t recommend mini sessions (I personally don’t offer them at all). I’ve found that the best, most authentic connections and smiles come toward the second half of my longer sessions when everyone is relaxed and natural.

5. Have fun.

Play with your kids! Mood can be contagious, so make sure yours is upbeat and relaxed. Put your worries aside. Have you ever seen an image in your photographer’s portfolio that looked like a hot mess? (If your answer is yes, consider shopping around a little more.) We’ve got you, and you’re going to love what we create.

Keep the takeaway positive as possible, even if you weren’t super impressed with your kids’ behavior. Parenting is personal, but I’d be tempted to say what happens in the photoshoot stays in the photoshoot–just let it go in the interest fostering future goodwill toward photo day. If you were relaxed and following the photographer’s lead, it’s highly unlikely anything they did will spoil your photos.

If you’re laughing and having fun with your family, you’ll bring out their lighter sides, too. Leave the stress to the professionals and enjoy this time of joy and connection.

Black And White: Actually a Grey Area.

Sometimes I include black and white images in my client galleries, and they are often duplicate edits of shots I’ve shown in color. Since most printing services give an automatic black and white conversion option, it may seem unnecessary for me to include these alternate edits. But this is far from the case, and I want to show you how that’s so.

Left: Automatic conversion to black and white from color
Right: hand-process of a black and white conversion

Black and white filters don’t know what you want the image to be about. There are a lot of neat looking effects readily available through Instagram, VSCO, and other plugin sources; but those one-and-done tools don’t understand what is important in the image, and what can be downplayed or augmented to make the subject really pop.

If you desaturate an image and make no other changes, certain details that stood out because of their color will be diminished or lost in your black and white image. Although the colors may have been in great contrast, they may also be very similar in tone. Converting an image like that to black and white can make it all a muddle of similar shades of gray.

A successful, eye-catching black and white image needs to have bright whites and rich darks. It needs to have its subject clearly defined so that even if it’s printed the size of a postage stamp, the subject matter is clear and readable.

Automatic conversion by desaturation–the subjects blend with the background for lack of contrast.

The images I’ve included show the progression an image can take from color to black and white. In the color version, the pink and blue clothing easily sets the family apart from the beautiful greenery in the background. But when I automatically convert the image to black and white (by desaturation), the family seem to merge with the background. Their prominence in the frame is really diminished. Alternately, in my hand edit, I’ve manipulated the light and shadow values to bring the family back out of the background and make them the stars of the show again.

Color spoils easily. The vibrant, on-trend color that makes you love an image today can also make it look dated in 7 or 8 (or 20?) years. Color is very susceptible to the changing tides of fashion, so if there’s a lot of bold color in a shot, that can be a really good reason to also have a black and white edit. Without the element of color, images can transcend time more freely and endure more without the connotation of any particular era. On the other hand, there’s a valid and joyous place in the world for all that is of this very moment and will no longer make sense to us 6 months or a year from now. “Now” and “Always” are equally precious.

Custom hand-conversion from color to black and white–a dark background contrasts strongly with well-lit subjects, and the tones in the clothing are varied.

So, automatic black and white conversion is not available in my product line. I encourage my clients to reach out to me personally for their black and white conversions so they can get a black and white image that is every bit as thoughtfully created as the color version.

Giving The Gift of Legacy Photography to your Parents and Children

a large family portrait session in amador county, California by Relish Photography — A recent Relish family legacy session

Day to day we all go along, busy, immersed, often overtaxed. We take a lot of snapshots. We give lots of hugs. Maybe not as many as we’d like. If we’re lucky, a lot of people lean on us for what they need to get through life, and if we’re REALLY lucky, they’re there for us to fall on when we need it, too.

Family, right? We love them and they drive us crazy. But they’re always there.

A selfie of me and my husband on our first anniversary. This is a beautiful memory, but I wish we had some nice portraits from this year!

Stuck in our regular routine, it’s can be easy to put our folks on the back burner. We all have obligations and there’s a limit to the energy we can spend in a day. But as life has unfolded, I’ve realized how important it is to make time for family.

In the past I’ve always found ways to make our own family portraits here and there, usually by handing off the camera to a bystander for a snapshot. We all have bills to pay, and a portrait session doesn’t immediately rank as necessary. But this year, I made it a priority to invest in a portrait session for my family.

It felt right to honor my mom with a quality portrait of our three generations of women together, and I wanted my daughter to have a beautiful visual legacy to hold onto throughout her life. A professional portrait gives a level of honor to the family that the dearest snapshots can’t match; and there’s a transformative quality to seeing your family through the eyes of an outsider.

Two sisters throw dry leaves in the air while mom and dad steal a kiss in the background. — A Relish family session. This is more than just a pretty Christmas card. What a gift this image will be to these sweet girls as they grow older!

I’m so fortunate that I can give other families the opportunity to create family legacy portraits. These images are are so beautiful to create, and fill my heart with love and reverence. If you haven’t had a family portrait made lately, it’s time! Get everyone together, get dressed up, and celebrate your family’s legacy. Do it for your kids, do it for your parents, and do it for yourself.

How I wish we’d done this with my dad, too. I have mostly snapshots of my dad. He left us before I became a serious portrait photographer myself, and we never really knew the value of professional family portraits until the opportunity was gone. I can’t go back and recreate those legacy images for my dad. But going forward, I can honor my family with professional portraits regularly. And, as a photographer, I can give others the same opportunity to create a lasting, visual legacy for their families with every family session I schedule.

Me and mom. ZAMS Photography by Zita Makkos